Michael has been in school for one year. He was enrolled early due to Speech Delay and Poor Fine Motor Skills for his age bracket. Lillian was on target so she was denied services. Bittersweet feelings. I was always so proud of Michael and happy for him. He was in the best possible environment, exposed to other kids not unlike him, and he was away from Lillian, who has a tendency to be, um, shall I say, Domineering? All things considered, I missed him. His absence did not go unnoticed daily, but I had Lillian. More bittersweetness as she is a pleasure to have around but what I was doing was nothing short of depriving her. She had no contact with other kids her age, nor adults other than me and Bill. Sure she was learning to shop and use coupons and that dented cans are just as good as not, but cheaper, life skills, ya know?! She was sheltered. Socially inept, useless. I felt powerless. I had to be patient as I knew her time would come. Then it happened.
Lillian was enrolled in preschool.
I started to mentally prepare her since I knew she would not take school lightly. She would have no problem if I stayed with her, but obviously that is not an option. I found a book called Mommy In My Pocket. The premise is a little girl starting school that wishes she can shrink her Mommy and put her in her pocket so she could have her Mommy in school with her all day. The little girl realizes that as happy as that would make her she knows she can't. She decides that Mommy's kisses and hugs will be enough to get her through the day.
Lillian's first day of school was rough at first. She clung to me and cried cried cried. When I managed to finally and LITERALLY, PEEL her off me, I walked out her classroom.
I believe her exact words were 'MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" at about 150 decibels, for roughly 15 minutes. Bless those teachers.
Michael's first day back after vacation was a little rough for him. He was thrown into a new class with new teachers without warning. None of us knew that would happen so he was not prepared. I felt so sad for him. He doesn't do well with sudden change and he was not happy. He would not let go of Bill, come to think of it, Bill didn't wanna let him go either.
Eventually everyone calmed down and had a great day.
The second day was the complete opposite, Lillian walked right into her classroom and got to business! Michael was sad again but soon recovered.
After school Lillian told me that my hugs and kisses stayed with her all day. Sound familiar? Lillian is awesome, just plain awesome.
I hurt a little for Michael in the sense that he and I did not get to spend days and day together alone like Lillian and me. It was for the better I know because he no longer requires Speech Therapy and he graduated from the 'special' class. But I still feel cheated.
They will be 4 years old in one week. Til this day I am in disbelief that I am a Mom, Their Mom.